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In Texas there are TONS of bars that are 18+....for all of you that claim it has been on a show, that's your own prerogative and you might need to get out more and quit watching so much TV. Just sayin'....BUT what's so bad about trying to experience an older woman while I'm still young enough to do something about it?? haha. Bad thing about the whole deal was, I never made a move on her other than dancing and I wasn't even looking at her when she started sobbing out of control! After the comment I bought her a drink, and never even glanced her way again. FYI, while I don't have a "fake," I use my brothers I.D., so as far as the bars are concerned, I'm 25..good call synchroskater

By kfenton - 29/09/2012 11:16 - United States

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 161

You deserved it 2 486

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 07:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 783

You deserved it 13 746

Where is my mind?

By brainfart - 19/09/2020 10:01

Today, I was put on a medication for severe migraines. One of the side effects is difficulty concentrating and word recall. I was writing a paper and sat there trying to remember how to spell "isn't." This medication better work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 117

What the F are you doing?

By WaychulMonster - 03/12/2021 02:03 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, when I got back from running errands, I had to explain to my 50 year-old mother-in-law the dangers of suffocation. She let my 5 year-old daughter play with the plastic packaging from water bottles, and it was OK because, "it was only on her head for 2-3 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 132

By puggles - 03/01/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 679

You deserved it 7 784

By Chey1309 - 29/06/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 069

You deserved it 6 261

Prison Break

By Anonymous - 25/09/2020 08:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my daughter's best friends birthday party, only to find my ex there, who is now sleeping with the mother, who has a fiancé in prison, who isn't going to be happy when he gets out. Most awkward kids birthday party ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 230

Some fantasy…

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 22:59

Today, I logged onto Final Fantasy XIV to enjoy the new expansion, and had to wait through an hour queue of almost 2k people. I made it all the way to number 88 in line, when the servers crashed. By the time I got back in, I was put in a new queue over 2k long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 342

Science, bitch!

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 125

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 104

You deserved it 21 084

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 13:30 - United States

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 3 497

By bloodynose - 27/06/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 574

You deserved it 3 472

chunkynose tells us more.

chunkynose 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 18:17

lol the mashed potatoes I had were kind of chunky, and so after I threw up, there were still bits of it left in my nose. I had to blow my nose to get them out, and so I blew chunks of taters out my nose into the tissue. my mom almost fainted. :)

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 18:46 - United States

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 151

You deserved it 2 795

By smashed - 24/09/2012 14:33 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 6 409

Daydreaming

By thefmlman2011 - 02/10/2020 14:55 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, I was driving home from an event on the coast. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and before I realised what'd happened, I ended up 20 km out of a town that I don’t even live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 1 430

thefmlman2011 tells us more.

thefmlman2011 36

Friday 2 October 2020 12:17

Hey everyone! I thought I’d update everyone. This event in particular happened back in November 2017, and what happened was, I’d made the trip from home to a suburb near where the event was happening on the Thursday prior to the weekend starting for set up on the Friday. On the Friday, I made the trip to the airport in the major city about an hour from where I was at to pick up a friend who was flying from interstate. After multiple trips, you’d think I’d know which way I was going to head home, but alas, I ended up an hour and a half away from home. Yes I deserve it, and my friends haven’t let me forget this, and bring it up every time we meet someone new.