Intimacy: You tried

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

agreeclassic 36 509

vote type 1 7 765

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

agreeclassic 1 624

vote type 1 183

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

agreeclassic 30 787

vote type 1 5 678

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

agreeclassic 30 684

vote type 1 9 982

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

agreeclassic 1 671

vote type 1 9 719

By krisx3ftw - 11/01/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

agreeclassic 41 349

vote type 1 5 751

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

agreeclassic 31 414

vote type 1 5 771

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

agreeclassic 31 417

vote type 1 5 006

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

agreeclassic 91 019

vote type 1 13 842

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 45 622

vote type 1 5 731

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

agreeclassic 19 577

vote type 1 4 658

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

Comments

omgcyndaquil 23

Monday 12 January 2015 15:20

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

howard007 18

Monday 12 January 2015 17:02

"Sorry Ronald!" -Ops Bf

superspooky 13

Monday 12 January 2015 19:07

Or they could just NOT do it in a car.

kristabelli 19

Wednesday 14 January 2015 23:55

Girl on top is really the only way it works in the car. Good luck next time OP! Don't give up!

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

kinky44 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:34

Happy ending meal.

user716 11

Monday 12 January 2015 15:48

Fappy Meal

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 13 January 2015 0:49

A bag of McJizz...

jerryj 27

Tuesday 13 January 2015 9:08

I doubt the ingenuity of #20's reply can be topped. Let us rejoice!

LittleMissShadow 16

Monday 12 January 2015 15:22

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

strokesie 23

Monday 12 January 2015 15:24

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

clairesucks 37

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

Useful in so many situations

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 12 January 2015 19:12

Probably the best use yet for one, to be honest.

clairesucks 37

Monday 12 January 2015 15:24

Better luck next time OP

buckstop1 37

Monday 12 January 2015 21:52

or never

llalala_fml 19

Tuesday 13 January 2015 6:29

I read the #5s comment as "better **** next time" I think I like that more

howtobestupid 16

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

I can't look at a McDonalds bag the same now

crimsonprodigy 15

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

Should have switched positions to the hood of the car. Much more exciting.

nyte_assassin1 11

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

"I'm loving it"

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

missbrit818 20

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

lol that sucks, but this is funny to read! Sorry about that though op!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

agreeclassic 37 158

vote type 1 3 260

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me via a Whatsapp group. FML

agreeclassic 12 010

vote type 1 832

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

agreeclassic 36 165

vote type 1 4 520

Today, after months of trying to convince my violent bipolar antisocial neighbors to crack a window when they smoke pot, I'm now living without any heat to avoid being blasted by pot smoke from the heat vents day and night. FML

agreeclassic 5 654

vote type 1 1 138

Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML

agreeclassic 405

vote type 1 154

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

agreeclassic 54 786

vote type 1 6 972

You tried

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Hangry for that Mickey D's

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