Drugs and Kids: Ya winning, son?

Ya winning, son?

By What the fuck, son? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 673

You deserved it 7 919

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Same thing different taste

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 816

You deserved it 5 272

By john r.t. - 10/11/2012 00:30 - United States - Eagle Pass

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 740

You deserved it 3 514

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 028

You deserved it 5 519

By need my own place - 24/10/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 1 599

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 2 939

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 788

You deserved it 3 347

He Mad

By kitty - 09/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 158

By Fffhjno - 28/09/2016 18:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 132

You deserved it 1 203

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 088

You deserved it 3 675

By flustered - 06/05/2012 14:57 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 600

You deserved it 4 793

ThePieGuy0817 29

Sunday 12 May 2013 2:59

Well, at least he's creative.

MadlyInLust 5

Sunday 12 May 2013 2:59

It could work...

Comments

shinedown00 4

Wednesday 15 May 2013 22:09

Did it work?

jazopalchris 14

Thursday 16 May 2013 12:15

Lol!!!!

knotcool 15

Saturday 18 May 2013 5:40

Your son is my hero.

silencespeaks 4

Monday 20 May 2013 23:30

Was he already high?

Quadroblitz 10

Monday 8 July 2013 4:26

"Son, we need to talk. But first I need to post about this of FML."

cheepcheep23 8

Tuesday 19 November 2013 15:50

Well, gotta atleast give him props for being creative and artistic!

kelemen 2

Thursday 30 January 2014 20:26

I don't see where the fml comes in. Less work for you.

vinylscratchp0n3 23

Sunday 25 May 2014 5:02

Ever heard of knocking?

Astrobomb 21

Friday 12 June 2015 5:27

and????

GrapeJuice67 17

Wednesday 12 August 2015 0:19

Was he already High when he started the carving?

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Keywords

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Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 487

You deserved it 4 982

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 917

You deserved it 3 791

Today, my parents finally took me driving after months of me having my permit. I got yelled at for asking questions. I only needed to know which way they wanted me to turn on the next street after they told me to turn, but not which way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 126

You deserved it 733

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 781

You deserved it 62 103

Today, and for the past week, I've come to accept that my dad's business is failing. He's used to hiring people willing to work for little pay from a street corner, and now those guys have all but vanished. No "real" Americans want to work for him, even for minimum wage. This country is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 925

Today, my girlfriend left town for a month to visit family. Meanwhile, the young woman I hired at my restaurant just got back from vacation with her natural hair color restored. It’s the same color as my girlfriend’s hair, and she made a pass at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 496

Ya winning, son?

Same thing different taste

He Mad

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