Love Kids Wide words

Wide words

julia - 11/06/2011 11:12 - United States

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

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Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

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Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

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Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

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daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

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Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

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Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

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parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

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aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

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Beautiful sentiment

emily geo - 03/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

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franticravyn 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

that's cute in a way…

Coon123 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

mature 5 year old

laliique_31 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:01

i wish i thought about that when i was 5 years old!

omgwtftoni 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:06

or she could just be a lesbian

lilclare 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:06

is this the daughter who went up to the boy at the swing cause if it is she's a freaking genius.

poorjudgement 26

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:10

lol same thing crossed my mind

xCajunGurlx 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:06

this is not an fml

TheJashinist 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:08

That's adorable, she's wise. :P

hottottie 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:09

aww I wanna be a nun. lol

lizabeth131 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:13

that's a smart girl

abasio 1

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:13

FYL for thinking this is an FML.

Crazy4Christ 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:18

aaha! I love Ur profile pic!

sarcastic_life 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:16

oooh how cute :) she is a smart girl. hope none breaks her heart.

xrudeboyrock 29

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:23

Where's the life-effing? That's so sweet!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML

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Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

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Today, I agreed to catsit for a friend. Her cat rode back to my house sitting on my shoulder in the car. As soon as I opened the door, he jumped out and ran off into the woods. It's been 2 1/2 hours and not even food will entice him back to me. FML

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Today, I discovered my girlfriend's secret blog, where all she does is vent about how much she cheats on me and hates me, but will never leave me because she can’t afford to. Her followers love and support these actions. FML

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Today, I put the key in my motorcycle but there was no power, so I pushed it to the road and tried to roll-start it down the hill. Pushed back up the hill. Jump started it and took off. Had to push it back up the hill. I change the battery to find out that the electrics are shorted out. I don't have another vehicle. FML

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Today, my kid felt bad that our cat didn't get an Easter egg hunt at Easter so he has hidden sardines around the house for her to find. The house reeks and I don't know how many are left to find. FML

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