When there is edible food in my fridge By Lewis - 18/12/2018 18:00 Actually, it never happens... I agree, your life sucks 259 You deserved it 84 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 810 You deserved it 2 223
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 512 You deserved it 2 981
Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad, so we went to the edge of a cliff to relieve ourselves. He peed and it came and hit me in the face. He did it on purpose, so I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 549 You deserved it 44 101
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 027 You deserved it 62 656
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML I agree, your life sucks 90 372 You deserved it 17 990
Today, it has been 57 hours since I have last had food. The fridge is empty. The freezer is empty. The pantry is empty. Even my bank account is empty because my pay has been delayed. Again. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 572 You deserved it 238
Calm yourself!
I’ll just grab a quick snack & no one will ever know...