When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! I agree, your life sucks 355 You deserved it 118 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. During the ceremony, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to stifle it, but when I sneezed, my bouquet flew out of my hands and into the groom’s face. It knocked his glasses off, and everyone was silent until the groom finally said, “Are you implying you oppose our marriage?” FML I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 115
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 768 You deserved it 8 418
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 183 You deserved it 1 644
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML I agree, your life sucks 23 297 You deserved it 2 906
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML I agree, your life sucks 32 661 You deserved it 4 749
Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML I agree, your life sucks 800 You deserved it 171
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅