Relatable, Parents, Cute and Kids: Too late - FML

Too late

By John W. - 21/07/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "Douche bag!" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 653

You deserved it 47 074

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Same thing different taste

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 458

You deserved it 10 387

Road rage

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 06:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 592

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 886

You deserved it 19 355

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 552

You deserved it 6 065

AITA?

By Kathryn - 13/08/2011 10:31 - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 410

You deserved it 41 202

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 376

You deserved it 4 855

By MathTeacher - 02/05/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 086

You deserved it 46 145

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 608

You deserved it 32 302

Rude boy

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 19:16

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 645

You deserved it 3 773

By Zeco - 05/02/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 248

You deserved it 42 211

Next

Top comments

xMeganMayhem 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:02

Way to go, douche bag.

Jk530 1

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:00

I agree with your son.

Comments

betty_white 12

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:49

lol .. funny kid yu got there :)

tattertots 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:52

Haha. Wowzers

hannahcorrine 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 21:07

Darn kids

helpme2C 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 21:19

Kids learn from their parents nice job

katiebearr10 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:26

At least he's not 4 :/

Jasonf6 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:49

ROFLMAO

Numeral 4

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:52

Ah today's youth...

thatkidd95 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:54

that sucks!! lol

thatkidd95 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:54

that sucks!! lol

sierralovesyou 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 22:57

Awesome. Nice comeback, kid.

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