Intimacy, Health and Holidays: Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It... - FML

By ouchy - 15/09/2018 13:30 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It was intended to be ten nights of relaxation and romance. The first five nights she had her period, and the next five nights I had painful welts on my tip from the mess in my swim shorts. Ten days later, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 093

You deserved it 464

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

julfunky 29

Saturday 15 September 2018 3:41

Dear God, I hope you meant “the mesh” because otherwise... *shudders*

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Saturday 15 September 2018 4:29

I was literally over here thinking so hard about what "mess" you couldve possibly had in your pants to irritate your penis. sand perhaps? menstrual blood? ... then I realized you probably meant mesh.

Comments

FloridaGirl03 5

Thursday 27 September 2018 7:50

Ok, first of all, your wife can't control her period. Second of all, I recommend that you see a doctor about the painful wounds on your tip

rylowsgirl 9

Tuesday 11 December 2018 20:58

Why would you not have sex because of her period? She is more sensitive down there and her hormones flooding can make the sex even better when PMSing. You are seriously missing out on a good time!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 276

You deserved it 1 355

Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 90

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 317

Today, I started a diet to lose the 20lbs I put on during quarantine. It was also the day my body decided the diminished food intake means I'm trying to starve it to death, and must be punished with a horrible migraine. That's what I get for trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 228

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 275

You deserved it 2 565

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 318

You deserved it 33 106