Miscellaneous: Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into...

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

agreeclassic 20 972

vote type 1 1 755

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By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 181

vote type 1 3 838

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

agreeclassic 37 229

vote type 1 5 340

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

agreeclassic 24 571

vote type 1 2 164

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

agreeclassic 1 247

vote type 1 232

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

agreeclassic 613

vote type 1 190

That homely smell

By Bottomless_Pit_for_the_NOMS - 23/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Miami

Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML

agreeclassic 1 398

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By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

agreeclassic 34 321

vote type 1 8 650

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

agreeclassic 7 176

vote type 1 54 792

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

agreeclassic 34 229

vote type 1 6 256

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

agreeclassic 40 327

vote type 1 7 539

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:15

Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.

kenyrabit 25

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D

Comments

murph_fml 21

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:42

A real man always keeps something on the back burner.

fabcade 14

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:44

I literally lol'd. that's funny. I'm sorry man.

Goblin182 26

Sunday 13 March 2016 1:04

high 5 to your dad

jlujan00_fml 9

Sunday 13 March 2016 1:12

That. Is. Hilarious.

Randomouse 11

Sunday 13 March 2016 2:12

This is disgusting on so many levels.

MitchRapp 20

Sunday 13 March 2016 2:15

So gross haha

samlovesham1234 9

Sunday 13 March 2016 2:36

I'd be like "Seriously dad?!"

Dawnoftime 12

Sunday 13 March 2016 2:42

Your life is complete

BadKitty13 28

Sunday 13 March 2016 2:49

Ewww

andrmac 25

Sunday 13 March 2016 3:28

Next time you visit upper deck the toilet.

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Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

agreeclassic 21 775

vote type 1 1 656

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

agreeclassic 37 975

vote type 1 11 920

Today, and for the last week, I've been dreaming only to wake up when my dream-self commits suicide. I'm generally a happy person, so I've no idea why my subconscious is killing me so often. This time, I stuck my face in an industrial-size blender. I can still feel my jaw rattling from the impact. FML

agreeclassic 1 576

vote type 1 187

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

agreeclassic 222

vote type 1 396

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

agreeclassic 50 788

vote type 1 3 421

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

agreeclassic 45 869

vote type 1 168 681