Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

By Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 30 568

vote type 1 10 742

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By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

agreeclassic 45 462

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By JustADream - 24/02/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

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By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

agreeclassic 24 281

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By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

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By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

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Can't take it anymore

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 42 088

vote type 1 6 607

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

agreeclassic 22 423

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By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

agreeclassic 48 791

vote type 1 6 766

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

agreeclassic 1 647

vote type 1 343

By lunarclips - 27/06/2016 14:08 - Canada - Brandon

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

agreeclassic 12 108

vote type 1 1 246

FatelBlade 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:19

Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.

zingline89 18

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:20

Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.

Comments

znc15 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 5:36

Smosh made a video that had that in it. It's about Facebook status' so check it out

pinktacos143 1

Sunday 8 April 2012 5:59

this is pretty much from the movie serious moonlight, except meg ryan used duct tape.. let's at least try to be more original with fmls?

skyeofblood 1

Sunday 8 April 2012 6:01

wtf?!

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 8 April 2012 7:33

So, now your a shitasaurus.. </shitty joke>

maxamus951852 3

Sunday 8 April 2012 8:51

Do you normally sleep on the toilet? or did u just end up there?

CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

Sunday 8 April 2012 9:12

94- DaFrequentlyAskedQuestions?

mariaealvarez 1

Sunday 8 April 2012 16:13

How the hell??

hckr47 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 16:22

face or butt?

Taymah49 7

Sunday 8 April 2012 16:25

I hope you find the remover

kimmis79 2

Sunday 8 April 2012 16:25

Fraudulent story

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

agreeclassic 15 300

vote type 1 1 468

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

agreeclassic 23 864

vote type 1 13 715

Today, we have an asshole neighbor who owns a loud muscle car. Another neighbor called the cops on him for constantly revving the engine and breaking the noise ordinance. He now purposefully drives by their house at odd hours of the night to blare his horn and wake everybody up. I live across the road from them. FML

agreeclassic 598

vote type 1 81

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

agreeclassic 38 507

vote type 1 4 150

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

agreeclassic 38 270

vote type 1 3 592

Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML

agreeclassic 890

vote type 1 112

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Can't take it anymore

Help!

Nice mental image

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