Intimacy Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older...

Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

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Anonymous - 01/07/2013 05:50 - United States - Austin

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

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longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

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DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

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What the actual ****?

samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

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ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

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hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

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Stranger danger

Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

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reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

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SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

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thesunsetglow_fml 8

Saturday 25 December 2010 17:00

You should have peed on him.

rofflewaffle 9

Saturday 25 December 2010 17:01

Hopefully you're just a grower, not a shower. At least you don't go around looking at other dudes' dicks like that kid.

phorcep 0

Monday 27 December 2010 14:04

FYL OP for not kicking the kid in the stomach.

travis1980___ 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 15:40

Should have followed him in and given him a swirlie. Then stomped on his junk.

iSpaceShuttle 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 17:49

Why, did I just read that in justin beibers voice? O.O

adelei 0

Friday 7 January 2011 6:11

should have turned around and peed on him.

fookinprawn 3

Saturday 8 January 2011 5:44

oohh.. awkwardddd

Brandelyn 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 6:24

you should have smacked the kid

chevy1969 0

Monday 14 February 2011 6:51

Ur a ginger so urs is proly 1 inch

Iclare_Krual 4

Thursday 26 May 2011 15:24

Kids are annoying, and damn that was none of his business, if I were you, I would of told him, "Not like yours is any better" he replies to that saying his is bigger, make him show you his dick, I wouldn't care if I had to go to prison, it would of been worth it!