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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    By franska - 03/11/2015 00:14 - Suède - Lund

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 926
    You deserved it 61
    Share  
    Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
    Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…
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    Top comments

    NewUsername 26
    Thursday 29 September 2016 10:47

    He was only slightly drunk? Wow, what happens when he gets really drunk?

    83 1
    LyricaSilvan 29
    Thursday 29 September 2016 10:42

    The mental image of that is strangely hilarious.

    79 1

    Comments

    MrsPanda 14
    Friday 30 September 2016 2:00

    Hahaha brilliant!

    0 1
    justarandomalien 7
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:05

    only slightly?

    0 1
    Exaspera 54
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:16

    Maybe that's all he knows what to do with it?

    1 0
    cakester123 11
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:27

    thats sanitary

    0 0
    SamanthaB243 22
    Friday 30 September 2016 4:49

    Slightly...?

    1 1
    howdmynosego 12
    Friday 30 September 2016 6:40

    But if he was drunk, it should be too soft

    1 1
    species4872 19
    Friday 30 September 2016 7:04

    Old wives tale.

    0 1
    Antivist 13
    Friday 30 September 2016 12:41

    Did his dick work for the entry code ? (X

    0 1
    mattyiscool123 26
    Sunday 2 October 2016 5:12

    Did it work?

    0 0
    xxUnknown 19
    Sunday 9 October 2016 5:30

    Only slightly?

    0 0
    philick 4
    Friday 11 November 2016 17:53

    love it thats a classic

    0 0
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    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 939
    You deserved it 37 497
    Today, I learned that I've been saying a word wrong my whole life and all my friends have been too polite to correct me, when I found out that "Segue" and "Segway" are pronounced the same. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 623
    You deserved it 192
    Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 023
    You deserved it 282
    Today, armed with enthusiasm and a trowel, I ventured into my yard to plant some flowers. Not even five minutes later, I managed to dig up the cable line, cutting off not only my TV but the entire building's internet. The only thing that's blooming now is my reputation as the least popular neighbor. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 309
    You deserved it 658
    Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 458
    You deserved it 3 004
    Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 712
    You deserved it 13 890
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