Miscellaneous: Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take...

By Tootsy_Roll_Pop - 23/05/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

agreeclassic 54 267

vote type 1 23 289

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By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

agreeclassic 25 205

vote type 1 141 057

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

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By doesntkissalot - 28/08/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

agreeclassic 35 343

vote type 1 6 083

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

agreeclassic 23 887

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By Snotmyfault - 11/01/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML

agreeclassic 7 574

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By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 2 545

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By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

agreeclassic 40 717

vote type 1 4 810

Never again

By Lex - 21/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 450

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

agreeclassic 9 597

vote type 1 66 580

By pathetic - 06/11/2013 13:04 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

agreeclassic 37 006

vote type 1 22 610

Ilovelife07 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:13

Serves that asshole Mr. Owl right, somebody was bound to foil his plans to keep the answer from the world

starbucks14 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:06

I wouldn't have wasted my entire day on that but i think the fact that you accomplished something like that is kind of cool, then again I'm 15. &hearts;

Comments

mr1337357 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 5:44

THIS IS PURE WIN IN EVERY FORM. READING THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SEX

jorgitooo 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 6:19

At least you know you can count.

MADISAYSYDI 0

Friday 29 May 2009 4:53

Well I, I think I love you.

angelann313 0

Friday 29 May 2009 23:21

i love you!!!!!!!!!! i ALWAYS wanted to know that!!!!!!!!!!!

TheUnnamedOne 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 4:47

what #10 and #294 said. Nice concentration =)

ConfusedGuy 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 6:55

You are awesome.

18scarymary18 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 23:30

I admire your dedication. Profound knowledge that is!

InsomPsycho 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 19:40

hahaha I've done that more than once. :P

tenebrus 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 19:57

My data: 1. I got 1042 to completely expose the center. 2. I got paid $10 to do it on a dare. 3. I was a freshman in college at the time.

ReecesPieces 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 10:03

Lol @14

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

agreeclassic 1 299

vote type 1 200

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

agreeclassic 46 011

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Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

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Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

agreeclassic 47 335

vote type 1 6 053

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

agreeclassic 43 513

vote type 1 5 817

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

agreeclassic 36 896

vote type 1 3 977

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