Miscellaneous Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to...

Tim - 07/08/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

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Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

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Snek

afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

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Psssssych!

Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

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seriousdubsteplover - 30/10/2009 05:08 - Australia

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

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Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

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Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

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Not on a plane

Surewhatever - 16/10/2019 14:01

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

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Sneeeeek!

blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

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Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

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Thanksssss

Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

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slitherbomb 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:06

At least it wasn't a naked man slithering across your kitchen floor…

cbaidchris 6

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:06

Snaaaaake, snaaaaaake, ohhhhh itttssss aaa snaaaaake...

CynicalDepressio 6

Monday 8 August 2011 3:22

At least you dont have stage 4 cancer?

jb5794 1

Monday 8 August 2011 3:29

theres worse(:

lv8898 0

Monday 8 August 2011 5:26

snakes I can deal with. spiders, not so much. I am severely arachnaphobic

jinglez 4

Monday 8 August 2011 6:14

What about two snakes slithering across your kitchen floor

kaitlyn17000 0

Monday 8 August 2011 8:02

I'd cry. I'm deathly afraid of them

ZzkekekezZ 0

Monday 8 August 2011 8:05

nothing Billy the exterminator can't handle!

pita2423 10

Monday 8 August 2011 8:13

just get the 12 Gage and pump it full of lead. or call an exterminator.

Arch27 27

Monday 8 August 2011 17:22

Arch27 27

Monday 8 August 2011 17:25

I wouldn't cry, but I'd totally break out in a cold sweat. I'm deathly afraid of snakes too.

vashthestampede 0

Monday 8 August 2011 17:54

Bear Grylls that bitch! Save money and eat it!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I intended on making a dramatic exit after arguing with my boss. I grabbed my coat, stormed out of the office, and slammed the door behind me. Or at least I tried to. The door has a hydraulic hinge, so it closed in slow motion while everyone who had heard the argument watched in silence. FML

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Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of two years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I'm cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

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Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

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Today, I've found that it's hard to focus on important things when your roommate won't stop singing at the top of his lungs, without any music playing mind you, especially when his singing voice sounds like a cat being forced through a meat grinder. FML

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Today, I made a joke about an older girl looking sexy because she had messy hair and half makeup on and half off. My girlfriend of 3 years found it offensive and broke up with me, then later made up rumors. Now my whole high school thinks I got her pregnant. FML

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Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

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