Love Nostradamus

Nostradamus

Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

50 623

4 442

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

GumStickExtraGmail - 14/09/2017 17:30 - United States - Arvada

Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML

3 734

633

Revelations

ed5509 - 25/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

1 644

119

segal1010 - 28/02/2013 00:27 - United States - Potomac

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

40 911

4 303

mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

38 340

6 702

crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

37 673

3 134

New phone, who dis?

Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

391

133

Way to be creepy

Shoe - 27/02/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML

8 950

40 232

AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

52 756

9 715

Classic

auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

28 374

1 900

gangstalicious - 08/05/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

58 308

13 577

MissAwesomeness 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

damn kids are so truthful. fyl. sorry.

aaronmk 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:25

she must be one clever little girl

intheboot 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:34

divorce is not the answer. sorry though OP, that hurts.

shumian 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:37

Daddy HAD a wife, divorce that clown

Livinia 11

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:37

What a smart daughter you have.

ribbyc80 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:40

see, if he would have planned this better it could be reading, mommy has a girlfriend and a husband, which would be the best possible situation.

KVKdragon 26

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:45

ouch. sorry that happened to you. now that texts can be accessed like that, I'm going to be more careful. luckily, I use textfree with voice on my iPod so my parents can't track it at all :P

KVKdragon 26

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:47

add "I know" between "that" and "texts"

weels6 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:52

''that I know texts''

kingtz 6

Sunday 15 May 2011 11:40

I use google voice so no one without a subpoena can access my texts.

KickItHigh 32

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:47

The daughter must've caught them in the act.

DeLpHe3zY 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:49

Damn.. Suprised he didnt silence the kid. Snitches get stitches lol

psycho9631 1

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:45

Dude thats an awesome saying, I'm going too use it.

fairymacabre 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 13:35

and end up in ditches.

69_jackson_69 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 16:22

Abercrombie and Fitches.

DCFan 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:49

I honestly didn't even read this FML, i just have to shout to the fml world and let everyone know....PSN IS BACK UP!!!!

emo0366 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:56

some ppl know that n iv been enjoying the hour iv been on

DCFan 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:58

right on! and I meant "PSN IS UP.. for now"

DeLpHe3zY 7

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:01

Amen.

weels6 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:51

I don't get it, what happened? what did the daughter mean? WHAT? can someone please explain?

Imabigbeast 5

Sunday 15 May 2011 9:52

I don't get it either

bmore225 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:24

Seriously? You two must be polygamists...

kay_joey 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 10:26

The lady's daughter told her "daddy has a wife and a girlfriend". So she went to go check all the texts at the phone company. Her daughter was right. Her husband is cheating on her.