Lock your doors

homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

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nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

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I'm Not Dead Yet - 09/06/2014 19:37 - United States - Tucson

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

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Anonymous - 29/04/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

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Exhausted

FML - 24/07/2014 15:59 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

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Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

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DON'T MOVE!

Miller_Time - 18/03/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

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Trash day

AlfieBoyo - 06/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML

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Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

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ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

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Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 24 December 2016 6:09

Don't you lock your doors?

talal_icon 19

Tuesday 20 December 2016 1:10

Lock your doors from now on OP and that's gotta suck and be scary. If I were you I'd also invest in some in home protection.

xbaconator9000x 16

Tuesday 20 December 2016 4:52

I'm not sure how you can fall asleep with your doors unlocked :o

domolovesyoshi 33

Tuesday 20 December 2016 7:11

There are windows, some people leave these open at night and if so what the hell it's freezing outside.

alaina1104 11

Tuesday 20 December 2016 5:23

Hopefully not the pajama pants you were wearing? That was my initial interpretation. That's really scary OP, glad you're safe!

trucker2 33

Tuesday 20 December 2016 6:34

Not to cause alarm here, but sounds like your intruder may return .... You still have his pants !! Somewhere....

SomeRandomUser 19

Tuesday 20 December 2016 10:26

Today, I was stalking this girl I really liked and finding the front door open, I got into her house. After reading her diary, eating her food and wearing her clothes, I decided to leave before she woke up. But before I could manage to remove the clothes, she woke up, took one look at me and screamed to the heavens. I tried to placate her and with the neighbors and the police arriving, I had to act crazy so that they wouldn't throw me in jail. FML. ;)