Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 271 You deserved it 4 337
Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 759 You deserved it 754
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML I agree, your life sucks 30 245 You deserved it 5 739
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 391 You deserved it 3 306
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 176 You deserved it 3 988
Today, my stepson objected to being woken up at almost dinner time. He knows I have PTSD from my 2 tours of duty, so he turned his speakers way up and blasted the sounds of gunfire through the whole house. I hyperventilated and passed out. Little bastard. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 352 You deserved it 384