Accomplished

By Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

agreeclassic 54

vote type 1 72

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Baby please come home

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment while taking the trash out, without my phone. I had to wait outside for three hours until my flatmate came home from work to let me back in. FML

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Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

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Help!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML

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Let me in!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML

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By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

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Housecleaning

By QuestionMyLife - 01/10/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

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By Niquesha - 23/04/2011 23:56 - United States

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

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By pottyhostage - 08/11/2010 21:26 - Sweden

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

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By AwwChute - 21/02/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

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Trash day

By AlfieBoyo - 06/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I had the memory of an ex-friend pop up in my brain and I couldn't help but wonder how the little homewrecker is doing these days. FML

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vote type 1 125

Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML

agreeclassic 27 131

vote type 1 7 708

Today, I didn't get to sleep until 5 a.m., as I stayed up to finish off a big project that I have been working on for the past week. I was then woken up at 6 a.m. by my daughter saying she was ready for school. School starts at 9 a.m., and is a 2-minute drive away. I'm now at work, living off an hour of sleep and coffee. FML

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vote type 1 280

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

agreeclassic 60 438

vote type 1 3 455

Today, I texted a friend saying I urgently needed his help. He gushed back along the lines of, "Glad you reached out, everyone has noticed your terrible frame of mind, you’re a suicide risk." I meant help with a tricky Excel spreadsheet, but thanks for the support I guess. FML

agreeclassic 669

vote type 1 137

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

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vote type 1 6 103