Relatable

Are Men OK?

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 288

Protip

By Late, for a very important date - 22/07/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend accounts for my being late all the time whenever we go out. For example, he will ask me to be ready by 7, knowing I don't actually need to be ready until 7:45. He was so good at it that it's taken me 6 months of dating to notice. Am I insulted or impressed, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 2 788

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 551

Find me someone to love

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 22:01

Today, I re-started the Grindr app several times because I wasn’t receiving notifications. Turns out it wasn’t malfunctioning, it was just that I didn’t get a single message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 396

Not helping

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 22:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I came home from work early due to a massive headache. A half hour later, the jackhammering started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 82

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 08:01

Today, it's the second day my wife hasn’t been to work at all, because a cashier called her ma’am instead of miss. Apparently, it’s the first time this has happened and she’s so upset that she might be visibly growing old that she’s been in bed for two days crying. We’re both only 27 years-old, FFS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 170

Calcultated

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 07:30

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. Over text. While I was on vacation visiting my old grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 102

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 26/05/2023 22:00

Today, some of my relatives are staying over. My husband was late from work, so I rang him. Apparently, he remembers the family drama and the screaming matches from last time, so he’s checked himself into a hotel until my circus of an extended family are gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 1 258

The tree of life

By Snowy - 23/05/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Wildervank

Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 429

By KnightToucan - 21/06/2019 02:09

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 145

Get out

By Let Me go - 27/08/2022 02:00

Today, my husband needs the money from my job, but will in no way support me to work. He NEVER cooks, cleans, or picks up after himself. I've got no place to work, except a nook by the bathroom, and I have to manage my toddler, who always poops only when I'm in a meeting, and cries for me. Quitting my job is "out the question." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 245

Pectus excavatum!

By Embarrassing Deformity - 29/07/2023 03:00

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 126

i'm still a human being

By ;-; - 29/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 123

Strung out

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 16:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 661

Secrecy

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 09:59

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 193

Checkpoint Charlie

By VHgolf1989 - 16/03/2022 22:00

Today, I get to go to my new job and have the boss's kid watch me as I do all the grunt work, and he just sits there watching me, only to come and correct me on how to do my job. Oh joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 130

Crushed

By beanpole - 19/12/2016 19:34 - Canada - Canning

Today, I had to cancel plans to go to the movies with the guy I've had a crush on for months due to a sudden case of the flu. This was already rescheduled from yesterday, when I had to cancel due to bad weather (after he had already left home). He thinks that I'm just making excuses not to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 176

You deserved it 1 190

The old ball and chain

By Anonymous - 13/10/2023 18:00

Today, just after got home, my husband, instead of offering to cook dinner or massage my feet, said, "Does this look a funny colour to you?" and showed me a selfie of his asshole. And yes, it did, so of course I had to book a doctor's appointment for him because he can’t even do that by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 299

Time for some DIY

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 384

Coercive freak

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Towaco

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 631

Words is hard

By kate - 26/10/2021 02:00

Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 1 677

Noise annoys

By IckyAsmr - 24/12/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after much delay, work was finally completed on my parents' new ensuite bathroom. It shares a wall with my bedroom. I was relieved, until I realised the endless crashing and drilling sounds have now been replaced with the sounds of my parents' bladder and bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 179

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 03:00 - Morocco

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 512

What the actual…?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 22:00

Today, my friend bit me. The first time I said "Ow!" and pushed her away. The third time really hurt, and I got mad and said, "Don't fucking bite me!" and walked away angrily. She chased after me and told me I couldn't be mad at her, then got mad when I wouldn't talk to her. She didn't say sorry once and it started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 130

The Golden One

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 06:01

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 129

Been there, done that

By lukey101 - 14/08/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I finally got home after driving solo for 4 full days across Australia. I left my house keys where I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 20:47 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 131

You deserved it 2 791

Spill the shade, throw some tea

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 18:00 - Kuwait - Mishrif

Today, it's been months since my spouse has talked to me. I'm currently in a timezone that's almost double digits difference. Not even a "Have a good day!" Big ass fuck you I guess. Yet they're always on, then gets off shortly after I'm on Facebook Messenger. Makes sense, right? Shady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 146

Get me out

By bosslady12 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that I needed a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 3 403

Word of advice: Run

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 10:00

Today, I’m in love with a man, but he has a girlfriend. We have literally talked everyday for almost a year. He tells me he loves me and wants to marry me, but when I asked him if he wanted to marry his girlfriend, he responded, “I’m not sure…” I just want to be with him, and I feel stupid for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 319

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 132

You deserved it 5 287

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 258

You deserved it 39 218

Today, after coming back from work, I panicked as I noticed that my rabbit was having a hard time breathing. So I went straight to the vet. I paid 40€ for him to tell me that he had hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 90

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 218

You deserved it 4 540

Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 226

Adulting is hard... Some of us need a push!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 72