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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    NSFW

    Frustrating

    By Noname - 17/01/2009 20:40 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 11 825
    You deserved it 39 587
    Share  

    Thin brown line

    By Poopy - 12/01/2009 16:19 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 57 970
    You deserved it 8 262
    Share  

    Come on in…

    By vaness@ - 06/12/2008 04:54 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 445
    You deserved it 11 975
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Vacation Gross Awkward Food Health Painful Television TV shows Money Work Bosses Public freakouts Cops Fight Pregnancy Kids My ex Love Confused Relatable Friends I need your advice Questions Smartphone Telephones Motherhood NSFW Sex Intimacy
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 79 557
    You deserved it 17 538
    Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 435
    You deserved it 71
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 168
    You deserved it 2 244
    Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 49 070
    You deserved it 26 979
    Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 614
    You deserved it 3 500
    Today, I was stuck at the airport overnight waiting for my flight for about 5 hours. I then went and looked at the departures board. It said that my flight had already departed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 842
    You deserved it 20 400
    Today, I spent my day alone while my parents and siblings were at school and work. Trying to be helpful, I cleaned out the fridge, did 5 loads of laundry, worked outside, fed the pets, and made dinner for the entire family. The evening was spent hearing complaints about how wrong I did everything. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 531
    You deserved it 3 313
    Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 892
    You deserved it 207
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