Health

OP here. Just to clear something up: The shower head is new. It was put in two weeks before my leg ended up in a cast. So I hadn't bothered to fiddle with it before, thus why I didn't know that it had that option. And I've been whining about it for 4 months, and he just now decided to tell me. Ah, love my brother. And to someone who said to give him a break, I am. I just glared at him for 10 minutes before letting it go.

Keep it up

By need2eat - 15/06/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 908

You deserved it 5 601

Word of the day

By Someone - 06/11/2022 04:00

Today, I've known that I'm dyspraxic for a long time. It was a real eye-opener when I found out about it, but there's still one problem: the majority of the population seems to be incapable of understanding the condition. I still get bullied for not being able to do simple tasks, even with the diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 157

Cycles of life

By Anonymous - 23/04/2025 15:00 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Cazin

Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 392

Sprain in the ass

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 16:02

Today, after two months of recovering from a sprained ankle, the doctor told me I was fully healed. On the way to my car from the doctor's, I stepped on some leaves, which were covering a small hole. A hole big enough for me to trip on and give me another sprained ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 127

Bent out of shape

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 15:00

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I thought I was joining a “Beginner Yoga” class, but it turned out to be advanced hot yoga. I lasted six minutes before falling out of a pose, knocking over two water bottles, and crawling out of the room like a wounded crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 124

By Ouchies - 09/02/2012 17:28 - United States

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 430

You deserved it 2 266

Faulty logic

By hhhhhhhh - 28/09/2023 06:00

Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 118

Childfree

By Anonymous - 17/08/2015 08:33 - United States

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 718

You deserved it 42 939

By Charlayyyy - 16/12/2010 02:30

Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 704

You deserved it 7 319

Unsteady

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 71

Feeling real worked out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 12:00

Today, the lights went out at the gym while I was holding a heavy bar. I tried to put it back on the rack, missed, and dropped it on my toe. Then, as I was limping around in pain, I hit my head on one of the other bars on a rack at head height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 103

Support system

By Anonymous - 20/12/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to tell my dad that I was really struggling with my mental health and didn't think I could stay alive much longer. He laughed. This comes after telling my "best friend" last week and having to wait three days for a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 178

I don't work here, M'am

By Olorin - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 750

You deserved it 2 788

By CancerFdMyLife - 26/09/2013 13:50 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 189

You deserved it 3 516

All out in the open

By Anonymous - 03/06/2020 08:00

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 197

Always Google things before accepting

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 17:02

Today, after a coworker had invited me over for a "Mukbang" and I'd agreed, thinking it was just some sort of exotic delicacy, I found out that he expected me to eat like a million calories of food on camera for his YouTube channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 559

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 054

You deserved it 3 036

Cruel Summer

By Bhrugu - 20/05/2021 06:01

Today, my 20-day summer break started. It was also the day my entire family, including me, tested positive for Covid. I'm typing this in an isolation ward. There goes my summer break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 172

Doctor time!

By Habits - 10/07/2023 12:00

Today, and over the past six months, after 20+ years of habits aiming at not gaining weight and succeeding in doing so, I've suddenly LOST a lot of weight at 40 years-old due to bad circumstances. No matter how hard I try or how much I eat, my system just seems to have forgotten how to build fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 174

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I found out why my thesis supervisor made me change my whole project I was working on for the past 3 months. Apparently, he had another student doing the same thing and they published it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 474

You deserved it 761

Today, I managed to spill Superglue on the one place you absolutely shouldn't spill Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 669

You deserved it 2 434

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 970

You deserved it 3 653

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 417

You deserved it 2 775

Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 425

Today, as it goes for the last 7 years, my step-daughter got her child grant and disappeared into her meth habit. Again. As per every month after being "clean" for a week. The child that "is over" drugs. The same child that calls us useless and losers. Guess who gets her child ready for school and takes her there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 167