Health

Taking no chances

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was sent 800 km home from my interstate job because I have the sniffles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 133

Not now!

By my body hates me! - 16/06/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 167

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 30/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 478

You deserved it 3 963

By DogDays - 31/03/2017 14:00

Today, the only member of our family who can get health insurance is our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 818

You deserved it 428

Bad memory

By thereisnobaby - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cadillac

Today, I was met with an unfortunate clerical error, receiving a letter from WIC with a cheery handwritten note instructing me to call when the baby arrives. I guess they forgot I was there four months ago to discuss the changes in benefits after a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 851

Monday Motivation

By Katie - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 2 972

Healthcare is a human right

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Edwardsville

Today, I was yelled at by my mom because I didn't hear her. I'm only 16, but I swear, to some extent, I'm losing my hearing, I don't even know what from. I've told her this, but she can't hear out of one ear, so of course it wouldn't feel real. I do feel bad about it, but I haven't heard her every time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 83

By eww - 27/10/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my dandruff issue is so awful that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 382

You deserved it 7 869

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 01/02/2017 18:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 179

You deserved it 561

The more you know

By Jeff - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that women have another hole that they pee out of. I'm 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 3 529

Betrayed

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 227

By sad child - 27/08/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 778

You deserved it 2 712

Bad aim

By goldengirl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 666

You deserved it 17 040

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be the cool older cousin by teaching my nephew how to skateboard. He’s now doing tricks, and I’m sitting on the sidewalk with a sprained ankle because I haven't skated since the Bush administration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 461

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 118

Sweet release

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 03:00

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 829

You deserved it 402

What's going on?

By Pointless - 10/07/2021 08:01 - Australia - Toowoomba

Today, I got a concussion when banging my head. I got extremely nauseous and nearly passed out. The emergency doctor gave me anti-nausea pills. The top three side effects are headache, dizziness and drowsiness. I have no idea if they're working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 148

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 384

You deserved it 15 891

Glow up

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I used a new face mask that claimed it would make my skin glow. I must have missed the part about testing for allergies. My “glow” turned into a bright red rash overnight, just in time for a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 184

By blabla - 23/12/2008 08:57 - France

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 373

You deserved it 4 776

By Anonymous - 05/07/2011 22:28 - United States

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 018

You deserved it 6 088

By toughbf - 27/09/2011 08:28 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 849

You deserved it 3 807

Shake it off

By chubby - 11/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my metabolism finally slowed down just weeks before my high school reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 131

My family blows

By Anonymous - 07/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 105

By asthmasucks - 19/09/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 252

You deserved it 3 591

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 2 654

Make your mind up

By Mandy - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I got in trouble for going to work sick. Yesterday, I got in trouble for not going to work while sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 916

You deserved it 2 515

The struggle is real

By WiredUp - 21/08/2020 13:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my step-kids proudly announced that their mum lets them drink coffee at her house. They both have ADD and I've been struggling for months to get them to eat right. Hello futility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 188

Heavy phone, dude

By Burton - 12/06/2021 20:00

Today, I'm in the E.R. because I broke one of my toes when my cellphone slipped from my hands after taking a shower. Needless to say, my cellphone broke too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 365

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Kids Family Friends Miscellaneous Confused Toxic Love Pranks Scams Money Religion Cheating Parenting Dating NSFW Work Painful Cooking Health AITA Stalker My ex Coworkers Internet Relatable Pokémon Awkward Annoying Shopping Underwear

The Top

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 192

You deserved it 6 228

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 942

You deserved it 61 460

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 133

Today, I found out that the word "segue" is pronounced like the "Segway" brand. Unfortunately, I found this out as I was giving a speech, which someone interrupted to correct me. I'm a 41 year-old salesman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 265

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote, "I also have an eye.", instead of, "I also have an eye for detail", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 553

You deserved it 31 630

Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 115