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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Frustration

    Gagging for it

    By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 117
    You deserved it 10 638
    Share  

    Cover up

    By this_is_fucked - 24/10/2009 21:23 - Zimbabwe

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 546
    You deserved it 2 928
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    Keywords

    Bikes Annoying Transportation Miscellaneous Embarrassing Relatable Technology NSFW Sex Intimacy Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Kids Cats Animals Gross Music Cars Growing old Frustration Parents Parenting Shopping Awkward Food Family Bodyshaming Love Painful Health
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 474
    You deserved it 3 311
    Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 847
    You deserved it 6 141
    Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 159
    You deserved it 26 959
    Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 088
    You deserved it 3 397
    Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a "damn fine ass." I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 034
    You deserved it 25 907
    Today my sister was complaining about all the inaccuracies in Grey's Anatomy and how it negatively portrayed nurses. I’m a massage therapist. Almost everything portrays us as cheap whores. I’ve even been propositioned several times. When I pointed this out, she and the rest of my family laughed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 869
    You deserved it 262
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