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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Awkward

    Early start

    By KoNi - 21/11/2008 07:23 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 54 363
    You deserved it 6 486
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    Awkward

    By Lio - 12/11/2008 05:25 - France

    Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 086
    You deserved it 41 870
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Vacation Gross Awkward Food Health Painful Television TV shows Money Bosses Work Public freakouts Cops Fight Kids Pregnancy My ex Love Confused Relatable Friends I need your advice Questions Smartphone Telephones Motherhood Intimacy NSFW Sex
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 352
    You deserved it 4 787
    Today, my girlfriend was driving on a busy highway when she slammed on the brakes, causing a multi-car accident. She then ran across several lanes, almost getting smashed by a truck, because she thought she saw a dog in the road. It was already dead. Insurance is gonna be a nightmare. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 376
    You deserved it 72
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one of my colleagues hit another with a sausage. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 758
    You deserved it 90
    Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 22 657
    You deserved it 1 658
    Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 238
    You deserved it 2 931
    Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 695
    You deserved it 2 437
    Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 984
    You deserved it 2 288
    Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 568
    You deserved it 189
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