jessmeatsix

Miss Lincoln, England 28 years-old Single

wtfdreams 17 May 2009, 12:33 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

792 comments

Anonymous 14 October 2009, 17:01 United States

Procrastination

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

234 comments