Miss Brisbane, Austraila 32 years-old
Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
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