FML_N_ATL

Mr I have been kidnapped and the perps want tell me..., I KILL YOU! haha 41 years-old

RC3Welly 9 March 2012, 22:58 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

1769 comments

nic 1 April 2009, 20:06 United States

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

254 comments