Walnut Creek, America 30 years-old
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML
Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML
Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was, until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year-old brother. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML
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