kman4evah

Mr Galesburg, United States 31 years-old In a relationship

Anon. 2 January 2013, 21:53

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

114 comments

Anonymous 28 April 2013, 13:57 Shanghai, China

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

79 comments

nocat6 This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff Northville, United States

Sneaky

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

107 comments