•
•
•

2retz

0

0

11

39

742

19

Wellington, new Zealand
47
Thursday 30 November 1978

2retz

I'm confused, no wait, maybe I am

2retz -

2retz -

2retz

lovers5201

SPIFIX78

oums76

Nicolette1...

GAeroNKiss...

samuelee

dialwalsh

emxy92

Cassandra2...

bambi1989

Brandi_Fai...

myselfkk

Cautocracy

kittina

2retz

2retz

Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - 14/02/2015 09:46 - United States - Sparks

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

35 419

3 648

Owww1 - 22/04/2015 19:20 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

19 056

25 606

Owww1

Owww1 5

Thursday 23 April 2015 10:43

Why did the mirror have holes in it? A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Anonymous - 08/04/2015 10:52 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

25 878

18 881

Suspicious

HtotheFtotheS - 03/04/2015 19:05 - United Kingdom - Wisbech

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

28 187

3 835

Anonymous - 02/04/2015 14:19

Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML

26 654

3 413