CryosFear

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Cryosfear's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

agreeclassic 37 678

vote type 1 22 531

By Anonymous - 19/11/2014 17:40 - Canada - Windsor

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

agreeclassic 41 251

vote type 1 3 723

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

agreeclassic 36 650

vote type 1 4 007

Freaked out

By notmycircus - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Cincinnati

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group I've being go to after the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

agreeclassic 38 346

vote type 1 2 736

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

agreeclassic 53 798

vote type 1 15 224