emanresuusername

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Emanresuusername's favorite FMLs

The betrayal

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

agreeclassic 61 254

vote type 1 4 781

By meganmagee - 16/09/2013 18:47 - United States - Barnesville

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

agreeclassic 50 496

vote type 1 9 342

meganmagee app_comment_confession_title

meganmagee 11

Wednesday 18 September 2013 1:35

After maxing out our credit card on a salt water tank, Mr. Shelly has a permanent home here with Megan, Tony, and Ansleigh Magee.

Family dinner [gone racist]

By Thanks everyone - 28/08/2013 22:35 - Australia - Gaythorne

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

agreeclassic 63 164

vote type 1 5 080

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

agreeclassic 56 955

vote type 1 4 192

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

agreeclassic 91 834

vote type 1 12 756