John - 24/06/2011 23:58 - United States Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML 45 143 3 247
ilik3catz - 01/01/2011 00:05 - United States Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML 38 068 3 643
ugh - 01/10/2009 15:49 - United States Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML 56 637 10 355