EscapingDreams

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Escapingdreams's favorite FMLs

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

agreeclassic 45 511

vote type 1 3 702

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

agreeclassic 26 362

vote type 1 4 033

By BarhydtBran - 18/08/2015 01:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

agreeclassic 28 129

vote type 1 11 393

Happy Valentine's Day

By henhouse - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brunswick East

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

agreeclassic 32 646

vote type 1 3 837

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

agreeclassic 28 584

vote type 1 3 115