elJefe98

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Eljefe98's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

agreeclassic 52 311

vote type 1 9 393

By UnSupported - 14/08/2014 15:28 - United States - North Kingstown

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

agreeclassic 45 076

vote type 1 3 919

Who knows?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2014 18:49 - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

agreeclassic 55 799

vote type 1 11 087

Cultish

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 08:56 - Malawi

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

agreeclassic 41 249

vote type 1 3 728

By I already have one, thanks - 09/08/2014 05:59 - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

agreeclassic 42 356

vote type 1 3 087