desdemona_jolon

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Desdemona_jolon's favorite FMLs

By foops - 02/02/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 921

You deserved it 11 627

By TwistedCherub1 - 01/02/2014 22:42 - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 284

You deserved it 4 388

TwistedCherub1 tells us more.

TwistedCherub1 15

Monday 3 February 2014 16:14

To answer a few questions: 1. I did make it to the bathroom. 2. Cameras are everywhere in a prison, see from all angles, and have incredible resolution. 3. From my post I have to go through a door which requires pushing a button, identifying myself to master control and waiting for them to release the lock. Then two crash gates where the operator can see me through the glass, then two more doors like the first. That's if I'm in the D-space and not the day room doing rounds, which would involve two more doors. No two doors in any corridor can be open at the same time, so I have to wait for each to close before the next can open.

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 15:43 - United States - South Salem

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 889

You deserved it 7 444

Bear with me

By bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 757

You deserved it 5 551

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 591

You deserved it 11 325