xkonstantine125x

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Riverside, USA
38 years-old
Sunday 08 November 1987
couple

A propos de Xkonstantine125x

I'm a 24 yr old woman, from Los Angeles.. I hate California. I'm mellow. I'm gay. I'm random. I'm easily distracted and entertained. I have ADD. I'm seriously amused by anything. No joke. I love chickens!

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Xkonstantine125x's favorite FMLs

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 1 940

Don't feed the trolls

By pathetic - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote, "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

agreeclassic 16 287

vote type 1 57 197

Freaky

By lifeonfire12 - 16/04/2012 01:13 - Canada

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

agreeclassic 22 710

vote type 1 42 215

By ShylaMarie - 14/02/2012 22:29 - Canada

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

agreeclassic 29 549

vote type 1 2 934

Dodged a bullet

By Anonymous - 18/11/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML

agreeclassic 46 478

vote type 1 6 436