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verbaltodomestic - 08/09/2013 19:31 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

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Bad, bad, bad

Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:30 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

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Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

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DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

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Another one bites the dust

fail - - United States

Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

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