Jeff_is_a_Baller

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Jeff_is_a_baller's favorite FMLs

By notsohandy - 03/01/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

agreeclassic 69 981

vote type 1 8 138

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

agreeclassic 48 547

vote type 1 5 527

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

agreeclassic 54 469

vote type 1 6 159

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

agreeclassic 39 078

vote type 1 7 166

By littlekellilee - 28/02/2014 14:50 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

agreeclassic 48 059

vote type 1 4 055

littlekellilee app_comment_confession_title

littlekellilee 45

Saturday 1 March 2014 4:36

Hey, I'm the OP! I'm 26, and my parents can be a little protective. I think they're worried that something will happen to me and they won't know who it was that did it. They're actually really amazing people. I chatted with them about it once they calmed down and everything is okay now, though they're still nervous about not knowing him. Thanks for the comments, everyone!