ghost303

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Ghost303's favorite FMLs

By valnaj1 - 25/12/2012 03:03 - Denmark - Vamdrup

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

agreeclassic 90 052

vote type 1 27 773

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

agreeclassic 45 364

vote type 1 4 855

Chill zone

By notnicefools - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

agreeclassic 40 058

vote type 1 2 368

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

agreeclassic 38 820

vote type 1 6 078

Valentine's Day confession

By Mister_Triangle - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML

agreeclassic 35 451

vote type 1 3 238

Mister_Triangle app_comment_confession_title

Mister_Triangle 21

Tuesday 1 November 2011 9:39

Well I've been out of high school for over a year now and my other sister (who knew for some reason) let it slip while we were discussing valentines day. I played it off like I already knew, but I secretly died a little inside.