PwningLamp1

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Austin, United States
33 years-old
Monday 19 October 1992
complicated

A propos de Pwninglamp1

I'm a total nerd, but whatever. Live in Austin, pretty epic. I love pizza and zombie movies. I usually check FML on my iPhone, so can't always respond to messages. Also, I'm 110% epic, hate Grammar Nazis, and am kinda crazy. I am a pretty chill guy, too.

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Pwninglamp1's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

agreeclassic 77 448

vote type 1 4 169

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

agreeclassic 13 812

vote type 1 71 758

By Tallow101 - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

agreeclassic 56 859

vote type 1 6 669

IN A RUSH, SORRY

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2-month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

agreeclassic 58 818

vote type 1 10 798

By Hungry - 14/01/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

agreeclassic 22 625

vote type 1 4 524