darkwool

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Darkwool's favorite FMLs

Just dependa things

By Elis - 01/03/2009 08:49 - United States

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marine's Girlfriend." I'm a straight 16 year-old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

agreeclassic 61 767

vote type 1 4 788

Alexa, play "****** Addict" by Buzzcocks

By Nuttjacob - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 14 713

vote type 1 42 307

Traumatic

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 15:15 - United States

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

agreeclassic 47 366

vote type 1 5 982

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 00:19 - United Kingdom

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

agreeclassic 44 973

vote type 1 2 912

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

agreeclassic 9 061

vote type 1 109 747