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Gtdriver's favorite FMLs

By Randall - 25/01/2011 07:28 - United States

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

agreeclassic 41 659

vote type 1 3 434

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

agreeclassic 12 558

vote type 1 49 456

Stranger danger

By shit - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML

agreeclassic 17 730

vote type 1 31 766

Needy baby

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

agreeclassic 34 432

vote type 1 6 398

By mariet - 11/02/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

agreeclassic 52 969

vote type 1 6 320

mariet_fml app_comment_confession_title

mariet_fml 23

Friday 8 April 2011 7:40

Holy hell, I forgot that this made it to the site. To answer some questions: This happened several years ago. My sister is a soldier, was deployed, bomb went off, lost her leg. I'm not going into details because it's still difficult to discuss. She has a desk job now and gets around fine on a prosthetic. We did not break up directly because of this. We had a huge row and I threw him out of my apartment. I didn't speak to him for a week. He apologized, said he just felt awkward and didn't know what to say, and I forgave him. We broke up later for different reasons. Mostly he is a nice guy, he had never shown any kind of insensitivity before this (he even came with me to my grandmother's funeral) but this was a bonehead moment. Some people suggested that I "know it's funny." In a hypothetical situation, it is funny. After she went through physical and emotional therapy, it is funny. I was reminded of this event because we went to IHOP and she jokingly asked for an application, saying she is automatically qualified. But at that moment, when I was in shock and could barely breathe? Nothing was funny. When you hear this kind of news and you are not even sure if your sister is going to live, she is the only one that can cheer you up. So **** you guys.