zulu96

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gig harbor, 'merica
29 years-old
Friday 04 October 1996
single

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Zulu96's favorite FMLs

By Emily S - 09/10/2011 05:17 - Australia

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

agreeclassic 13 317

vote type 1 40 421

By ohgodwhy - 18/09/2011 21:16 - United States

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

agreeclassic 38 742

vote type 1 19 169

By ironik970 - 17/09/2011 06:56 - United States

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

agreeclassic 29 543

vote type 1 2 797

ironik970 app_comment_confession_title

ironik970 13

Saturday 17 September 2011 22:50

OP here, I can kill a raccoon if it "comes after me" but all of the animal grunting and weird sounds emitting from the walls just paint an image of frightening animal sex in my mind. By the way its the only room on the floor so it's not coming from the room next door.

Snacc

By -- - 04/09/2011 16:42 - Canada

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

agreeclassic 37 646

vote type 1 3 067

Hey lady! Chill!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

agreeclassic 41 404

vote type 1 3 045