fruitmongerkng

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Fruitmongerkng's favorite FMLs

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

agreeclassic 46 439

vote type 1 3 674

Please don't do that

By anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulled away, goes, "OMNOMNOMNOM" then continued kissing me. FML

agreeclassic 26 365

vote type 1 22 555

Run away time!

By CreepedOut - 09/03/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

agreeclassic 34 080

vote type 1 2 821

By SadFace - 07/03/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

agreeclassic 34 290

vote type 1 4 960

By DUMMIE - 04/03/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

agreeclassic 10 655

vote type 1 30 319