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blaise - 13/04/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

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Reset my life

Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

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Stupid - 20/04/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

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No excuses!

davka -

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

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Drive on

uncool - - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who'd pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML

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