gotbitbyamonkey

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Gotbitbyamonkey's favorite FMLs

By allyshah - 20/02/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

agreeclassic 52 681

vote type 1 6 382

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 05:39 - United States - Long Beach

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

agreeclassic 72 415

vote type 1 13 988

By Gurior - 16/04/2013 17:44 - Canada

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

agreeclassic 75 465

vote type 1 19 632

Gurior app_comment_confession_title

Gurior 4

Wednesday 17 April 2013 0:17

This is brillant.

By Kutakito - 15/04/2013 20:18 - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year-old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

agreeclassic 46 427

vote type 1 12 300

By NZgirl92 - 15/04/2013 02:29 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

agreeclassic 52 973

vote type 1 4 633

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NZgirl92 6

Tuesday 16 April 2013 1:38

PS. I have a boyfriend, who lives with the friend whose birthday it was and his girlfriend.