morgankrystyne

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Dallas, United States
35 years-old
Thursday 30 August 1990
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Morgankrystyne's favorite FMLs

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

agreeclassic 20 315

vote type 1 93 025

Some things haven't changed

By Jonathan - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Denmark

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children." FML

agreeclassic 48 523

vote type 1 10 178

By unsatisfied - 29/11/2010 12:13 - Australia

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

agreeclassic 32 691

vote type 1 6 540

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

agreeclassic 35 336

vote type 1 15 568

Stuck on ugly

By bleh - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

agreeclassic 39 943

vote type 1 3 252