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OmniFML

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Sydney, Australia
32 years-old
Wednesday 17 March 1993
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Omnifml's favorite FMLs

By soooyeah - 30/04/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

agreeclassic 526

vote type 1 80

By dad - 29/06/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

agreeclassic 510

vote type 1 57

Maturity

By merkris - 29/06/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

agreeclassic 51 317

vote type 1 12 751

By failure - 28/06/2009 01:00 - Australia

Today, I was sitting in a park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as I moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I'd like to play as the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said, "No thanks!" to which the kid responded, "But there's nobody else ugly enough." FML

agreeclassic 52 370

vote type 1 4 384

Erm… what?

By UrbanCass - 25/06/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control, because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

agreeclassic 37 495

vote type 1 77 028