Health Today, while visiting the doctor, the nurse asked for a "sample".... - FML

Anonymous - 11/03/2016 03:04 - United States - Akron

Today, while visiting the doctor, the nurse asked for a "sample". For some reason, I assumed she meant semen. After 20 minutes of beating the bishop, I came out with my sample....She was looking for urine. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

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Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

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Today, I opened my music app like always. All my tracks' titles had been reset. Now they’re called either (lyrics) or ‘’ ? () [] - symbols. I have nearly 2000 tracks. FML

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Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

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Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

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Today, it's been many years since I criticised my sister for homeschooling her kids instead of sending them to a normal school. Now all three of her kids are at university in science courses. My two sons graduated high school still struggling to read or spell, and don’t have the grades for college. FML

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Today, I got the rest of the week off against my will due to lack of patients. Two weeks ago, I declined my boyfriend's dad's offer to pay for a flight to Panama City, FL for a family vacation this weekend in order to help the staff at work. Now I’m sitting at home and they’re on a beach. FML

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