Miscellaneous Today, the plumber fixed the plumbing problem that appeared two... - FML

IndridCold - 29/03/2016 16:14 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, the plumber fixed the plumbing problem that appeared two days ago, getting mud and grime all over the bathroom floor in the process. Four days ago I spent a long time cleaning the bathroom and was proud of myself for how nice it looked. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

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Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

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Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

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Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

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Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

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